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The time is 2:14 a.m. and the blue glare of a smartphone is shining on the face of the fifteen-year-old, as the rest of the house is asleep. They aren't doing homework. They find themselves trapped in the infinite scroll and they watch a sequence of 15-second videos, that alternate between life-hacks and devastating global news. Their pulse is rather high, they have just witnessed an announcement of a party which they are not invited to.
This is not a one time occurrence. Worldwide surveys have shown that almost half of adolescents now identify themselves as spending almost every single day online. It is a huge social experiment that we are in the midst of. The threshold between the private life and the public broadcast was fully erased, the first time in the history of the humankind. And this is the place where Cyber Wellness enters. It is not about stopping using the internet, but how to exist in a digital world and remain peaceful without losing your mind.
Ask a teenager the meaning of cyber wellness, and they will pretend to roll their eyes at you thinking that you want to give them a talk on how to be safe over the internet. However, cyber wellness is not only about not falling into the so-called stranger danger.
Cyber Wellness is having a healthy, conscious relationship with technology. It represents the online version of physical health or diet. Similar to not eating fast food on a daily basis and being in high spirits, you cannot read high-conflict, high-comparison materials 12 hours a day and be in a good state of mind.
It is about emotional safety. It is being able to know when an application is provoking your anxiety, anger or loneliness and having the means to give it a break. It is about realizing that your phone is not a tether, but it can be used as an instrument of getting to know each other.
Adults can say it is easy to just put the phone down. However, to a teenager, that is far more difficult to do neurologically and socially, than it sounds. Major forces are at work which are invisible:
There is a tremendous overhaul of the adolescent brain. The prefrontal cortex, or impulse control and long-term planning part of the brain are not fully developed until the mid twenties. In the meantime, the reward system is in full blast.
It is this gap that social media applications tap into by employing some of the brightest engineers in the world. With each like, each view, each notification a hit of dopamine is released. To a teenager, the phone is a portable slot machine that will guarantee social validation.
Slow-capping (taking too long to respond) in the modern digital culture may be regarded as an insult. Hyper-availability has an unwritten law. Failure to respond immediately may make friends wonder whether you are angry or putting them on read. This causes a sense of so-called ambient stress, wherein adolescents have to be available 24/7 in order to sustain their friendships.
Once the social standing is quantified in numbers, the number of followers, likes, streaks, etc, it is simple to begin thinking you are the numbers. This renders online frontiers unsafe. In case I move out, will I lose my numbers? Will I lose my relevance?
What does a boundary violation look like, then? It is frequently a slow degradation of solitude and tranquillity rather than a sudden intrusion.
You have to see one item before you go to bed at ten o'clock at night. Before you know it, you're watching a video on a pastime you don't even have at one in the morning.
When you are upset with a friend, you might write a "vent" or a brief, cryptic story. Ten minutes later, one regrets it, but dozens of people have seen it.
Teens frequently share their passwords with their closest friends or lovers in order to show loyalty. This is a serious boundary violation that, in most situations, leads to privacy being compromised in the event that the relationship inevitably changes.
Replying to a follow request from a stranger in an attempt to increase your following. You've just given a stranger a peek into your life.
Crossing the lines is not just about spending excess time in front of the screen, it is a change in psychological health.
Highlight reels of other people spend hours in front of teens living in their own behind-the-scene lives. Although a teenager can be aware that the photo is filtered, their brain still sees it as a norm that is not being followed. This leads straight to anxiety and body dysmorphia.
The first generation is the one with all the world tragedies in their pockets. There is no time to take a rest as the incessant intake of news about the world conflicts and crises on a constant basis result in the chronic arousal of the nervous system. When you are sitting in your room, your body believes that you are in a crisis.
Blue light on screens suppresses their ability to produce the hormone that helps you to sleep melatonin. In addition to the light, the brain does not go to a rest state since it cannot process thousands of pieces of information before going to sleep. This causes irritability and lack of concentration.
At work boundaries are not about saying no to the internet, it is about saying yes to yourself and to your well-being.
Count to three before you send it or post it. Questions to ask yourself: Would I tell him/her to his/her face or Am I posting this because I am bored, angry, or lonely?
The brain requires physical signals in order to change gears. Turn the dinner table and the bed into holy areas. The one best thing to do to enhance sleep is to charge your phone in a general place rather than your nightstand.
You do not even have to be informed that a random person whom you have never met just shared a Story. Disabling non-human notifications. Otherwise, it can be postponed until it is not a direct message of a real person.
Have a digital sunset an hour before sleep. It is not a penal, it is a time of healing. This is a chance to do something without being on a screen: reading, drawing or simply talking.
Father and mother should this be approached with the words, give me your phone, right now, you will probably produce a defensive reaction. A phone is a social life lifeline to a teen. Rather, Supportive Guidance should be attempted.
How do you feel you have spent hours on that app? Do you believe it is reasonable to have a reasonable time when we can put the phones aside and get everybody to go to bed? On the one hand, the teens are prone to respect the boundaries when they contribute to their creation.
When you are commanding your teen to leave his phone and you are scrolling through your phone during dinner, the message will be missed. The digital wellness is a community project.
They should be reminded that online footprint is permanent, and so is the fact that behind every user is a fellow human being, with emotions.
Invest in offline activities- sports, music or clubs in the area. The most effective solution to cutting down on screen time is to ensure that real life is more interesting and rewarding.
Digital borders are not a fence that is supposed to keep you there; it is a barrier that is supposed to guard the most important things in your life your peace of mind, relationships and future.
You teens reading this: The world is in your fingertips, but don't have the world get you at its beck and call. You can be unavailable as you wish. You have the right to privacy. You are entitled to sleep without a buzzing noise on your ear.
Start small. This evening, recharge your phone over a distance of the room. experience how it is to wake up and feel like you are not following an algorithm. Cyber wellness is not a place, but a way of living right now by balancing your life back in your hands.
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